How Much Do I Weigh In Your Heart?

dun see, dun hear, dun feel anythin...

下定决心放弃是我最后的选择，但我却根本办不到。。。一件表面看起来如此容易的一件事，但我做不到。逃避与面对，我的选择为何如此矛盾，在面对的同时却又在逃避。。。每天的过去使我看得更明白，更清楚，因为所看到的东西不会说谎。

why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? 为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么？

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"nothing gold can stay..." this is so true, so true...
fragile friendships...sometimes i rather they dun exist...sometimes i rather i dun hv them... what's the point??? they juz bring u problems n agony because u juz care too much,think too much when they dun even care... reasons after reasons, excuses after excuses...no more please...i believe dat no matter how much i try to convince myself in understandin all the reasons given there's a limit dat one has... i'm alrd stretchin this elastic band in me...how much more do u all think i can stretch??? why do things always turn out like that...?

i'm not so great...i'm human too...a normal human being...i hv my own problems, my own emotions too! who understands...? haiz...sighs...

心寒。。。我不知道我还能做什么来挽留，挽回这一切。。。理由，借口，我都听腻了。我的极限又在哪里？朋友。。。这两个字的意思又是什么？在我生活里到底又存在这几个呢？

what's the point in puttin in effort to keep this relationship goin when ppl dun even try...friends... a word that seems so near, so close to your life, but yet...it is something so distant, so cold, so far away... is this how things shld turn out? o is it juz me???

my life is in a mess! i'm tired...how i wished dat i'll have a neverendin sleep...a sleep till eternity...

=tiingx= bubbled

星星在天上写诗，浪漫到放肆
嘴角的吻还微湿，我害羞掩饰
我调整了我坐姿，假装更矜持
你的紧张，你的攻势，就像个孩子
你把，我喝完的可乐，拉环当作戒指，轻轻套上了我小指
你问，能不能一辈子，那一秒突然爱上了你傻傻的固执。。。

我不要你解释，我不要你发誓，我只要你记得此刻你眼里我的样子
爱我不要解释，爱我不要发誓，这一刻到世界末日让我们一起把爱，活成最美最美的钻石。。。

你把平凡的日子，变成纪念日
永恒变成未来事，男孩变王子
我不要有大房子，也不要大宝石
我会珍惜，可乐戒指，永恒的小事
你用，吃完的糖果纸，那是你的方式，默默地写下你发誓
你说，保护我一辈子，那一秒突然看到了你背后的双翅。。。

我不要你解释，我不要你发誓，我只要你记得此刻你眼里我的样子
爱我不要解释，爱我不要发誓，从此刻到世界末日让我们一起把爱，活成最美最美的钻石。。。

《梁静如：可乐戒指》

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will you ever be able to put that smile on my face filled wif tears, juz like u used to? 就连我看到的背影都似乎变得越来越遥远。。。

the familiar figure that puts the smile on ur face...treasure it... when one day u find that the smile has faded away, it is time to let go...

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bloggin time again!!! 2day's a special day! cos it's my 18th b'dae!!! haha...lolx...

would like 2 say a realli BIG THANK YOU to EVERYONE!!!

Kaiying, Wing, Jac, Anandhi, Dolores, Lao ba, Mer, Nee Huai n Yia Chin...Thx 4 the whole BIG BAG OF FOOD!!! haha...lolx...i think i'll be 'piggin' out all the time thse few days! XD...

OG18! u guys r so sweet!!! quite surprised when i received msg fr almost ALL of u!!! gandong...O.O...

HOUSE EXCO!!! dat was a great surprise! onli left abt 10-15 mins of common lunch break left n u guys stiu waited until my dance class ended 2 celebrate my bdae!!! gandong...O.O... the cake was nice! (see...piggy me again...XD) despite the cream on my face, even though it was a short session, but it was fun n memorable!!! all of u r a great bunch of super enthu n fun lovin ppl! we'll cont 2 strive tgt n work ourselves towards greater heights eh! JIAYOU! HOUSE EXCO, GO, GO, GO!!!

NEVER 4GETTIN THE GRP OF PPL!!!... MIIC! YT! WOONIE! WEN! SH! MUI! LOVE ALL OF U GUYS BIG TIME!!! <3... thx 4 everythin n all the wishes!!! even though we may be in different schools, diff classes, but we'll always be tgt ritex! muz always keep in contact no matter wad happens k! LURVE U GUYS!!! <3...haha...lolx...XD...

DAWEI! realli like dat prince voodoo! haha...lolx... n to my whole family... for the super big mango cake filled with lots n lots of MANGOES!!! haha... super yummy!!! [woah! realli think its v pig leh! XD...]

last but nvr the least, to ALL MY FRIENDS who remembered (o nvr remember) this day, THANK YOU 4 all the wishes, thoughtfulness, jokes, hugs, gifts, etc etc... it's becos of these small little things dat all of u did dat will make me rmb this day 4 a very,very,very long time... it's all these small little things that make a GREAT N MEMORABLE day so meaningful n worth rememberin... U GUYS RAWK!!!<3...

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY!!! haha...XD...

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If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again...

It sounds so simple, but yet so difficult... Can i do it? Doubts...

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一个人的眼睛是会说话的。。。从眼神中所看到的表情骗不了我，因为我知道时间不会倒流，时间不会停顿，时间更不会加快让我看到任何的未来。。。眼神里看到的逃避，失望，一切的改变都令我很难受，因为我不知道要怎么去面对所有的改变。。。迷失在一片忙碌的事物中，我似乎找不到出口。不敢再前进，因为害怕又会失败。。。不管再努力似乎都没有用。。。一个眼神，会多恐怖，多可怕。。。

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too many things have happened within this short period of time...i'm gettin more n more confuse, more n more lost as each day passes by...things haven't been happenin the way i've wanted them to be... setback aft setback, disappointments aft disappointments, failure aft failure...sometimes i wonder why am i puttin in so much so much effort in doin somethin...is it realli worth it? are some things realli destined to be in the state dat it shld be in, no matter how hard u try? is there no turnin back aft sayin some things dat u felt dat u said wrongly?

why do i let chances juz slip pass my fingers all the time? why do i feel inferior when compared to u everytime? why do i even make myself feel this way when i put the 2 of us side by side... we started at the same spot, but now, u're shinin so high above while i'm stiu strugglin wif me, myself at the bottom...I HATE LIVING IN YOUR SHADOW! why did i even wanna give u the opportunity dat was supposed to be mine? why do i feel so not confident when i think of u? dat was a rare opportunity, but i gave it to you..."no one should make u feel inferior when compared to them" but why do i feel so small when u're ard...why do i feel so insignificant when u're mentioned...sometimes it realli makes me wonder if i shld hate u...but... ... ...

some may wonder why do i even care so much, why do i even wanna bother abt ur existence, why do i even wanna put u in comparison wif myself...i dunno why but i juz cant help it! ppl seem to rmb u, u n onli u when we're put tgt...why do i care? becos u're my FRIEND, a friend whom i TREASURE... but it's aso because of u dat made me feel so unseen, so unwanted, so non-existent...its because of u dat ppl onli recognise ur efforts n wad abt mine, all flushed down the drain...WHY? because everythin dat we do, u do it better than me n no matter how hard i try in tryin 2 get into the same position as u, i fail...every failure made me wanna win u even more! even if it is onli once...but the harder i try,failure feels even harder...i put on a front as though nothin has happened in front of everybody, but do u noe wat's goin thru me everytime we're bein put tgt and compared to by ppl?

I'M SICK OF THIS! but... ... ...

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i'm such a useless dumb idiot...for all the faith dat u had in me, i let u down...for all the encouragement dat u gave, i disappointed you... for all the things dat u taught me, i dashed ur hopes... for everythin dat happened 2day, it sucked. i'm juz utter disappointment...

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