How Much Do I Weigh In Your Heart?

too many things have happened within this short period of time...i'm gettin more n more confuse, more n more lost as each day passes by...things haven't been happenin the way i've wanted them to be... setback aft setback, disappointments aft disappointments, failure aft failure...sometimes i wonder why am i puttin in so much so much effort in doin somethin...is it realli worth it? are some things realli destined to be in the state dat it shld be in, no matter how hard u try? is there no turnin back aft sayin some things dat u felt dat u said wrongly?

why do i let chances juz slip pass my fingers all the time? why do i feel inferior when compared to u everytime? why do i even make myself feel this way when i put the 2 of us side by side... we started at the same spot, but now, u're shinin so high above while i'm stiu strugglin wif me, myself at the bottom...I HATE LIVING IN YOUR SHADOW! why did i even wanna give u the opportunity dat was supposed to be mine? why do i feel so not confident when i think of u? dat was a rare opportunity, but i gave it to you..."no one should make u feel inferior when compared to them" but why do i feel so small when u're ard...why do i feel so insignificant when u're mentioned...sometimes it realli makes me wonder if i shld hate u...but... ... ...

some may wonder why do i even care so much, why do i even wanna bother abt ur existence, why do i even wanna put u in comparison wif myself...i dunno why but i juz cant help it! ppl seem to rmb u, u n onli u when we're put tgt...why do i care? becos u're my FRIEND, a friend whom i TREASURE... but it's aso because of u dat made me feel so unseen, so unwanted, so non-existent...its because of u dat ppl onli recognise ur efforts n wad abt mine, all flushed down the drain...WHY? because everythin dat we do, u do it better than me n no matter how hard i try in tryin 2 get into the same position as u, i fail...every failure made me wanna win u even more! even if it is onli once...but the harder i try,failure feels even harder...i put on a front as though nothin has happened in front of everybody, but do u noe wat's goin thru me everytime we're bein put tgt and compared to by ppl?

I'M SICK OF THIS! but... ... ...

=tiingx= bubbled

+ about me

ziting.jacintha

17 goin 18

17 april

aries

+ loves

music

my piano n pipa!!!

ice cream n choclates...yummy!

baking!

slacking!!!

shopping???

movies...

sleeping!!!

+ hates

EXAMS!!!

disappointments...

gettin suan-ed!!!

+ misses

my childhood days...

playin ruan...

+ wishlist

~~a new piano!~~

learn french

learn ice skating

good grades

a laptop

shoes,bags,skirts,blouse,etc...!!!

everythin dat makes me happy!

always stay happy!

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